How to Travel Solo Without Being Lonely
Traveling alone can be one of the most liberating and enriching experiences of your life – or at least that’s been my experience. But, the fear of loneliness can sometimes loom large and keep us from even trying it – believe me, I’ve been there. Admittedly, the title of this post is a bit of misnomer because let’s face it, can solo travel get lonely? Sure, none of us are immune to loneliness – it’s a universal emotion. Maybe I should have called it “How To Overcome Fear of Solo Travel Loneliness to Plan That Trip.”
Regardless, whatever the title, here’s the point: with a few tips and tricks and some advice on changing your mindset, you can stop focusing on fear of solo travel loneliness, get excited, get on that plane, and have the most amazing trip of your life – all by yourself!
Table of Contents
Embrace the Solo Traveler Mindset
First things first: traveling solo is a mindset, and working on switching perspectives is a really powerful tool! Instead of thinking about solo travel as lonely, or sad, or some sort of personal failure for not having no one travel with (I spent way too much time trapped in that mindset when I was younger), try focusing on solo travel as an incredible opportunity for self-discovery and adventure. Instead of focusing on being alone, think about the freedom you’ll have to make your own decision, follow your own schedule, do what you want when you want without anyone else having any say about it!
Instead of focusing on what might go wrong, try to imagine the best possible outcome.
Also, a word about judgment from others. (Ahem, time for my TED talk.) Many people I speak to who are hesitant to travel solo are primarily concerned about others judging them negatively for traveling alone – whether it’s someone they already know, or someone they meet along the way. Being judged is a horrible feeling, but unfortunately it’s an inevitable part of existing this planet with other people.
Here’s the thing – and I cannot emphasize this point enough – anyone who says anything to you about your solo travel plans that isn’t along the lines of “that’s amazing, good for you” is projecting their insecurities onto you; It’s a reflection of who they are, and not at all a reflection of who you are. Chances are they’re jealous or it makes them nervous because they know they don’t have the guts to try it themselves, but that manifests itself as negative judgement misdirected at you. Whether that’s a friend at home questioning whether your travel plans are a wise idea, or a couple who sees you eating alone at a restaurant and gives the waiter $20 with instructions to buy you a drink because they feel sorry for you being all alone (yes, that actually happened to me in Banff, Canada while I was having a lovely dinner by myself. I gave the $20 to the waiter as extra tip because I didn’t need – or want – their pity), I try to reframe that as misplaced judgment coming from a place of jealousy or insecurity which, I’m pretty sure, it usually is. And then I always feel a little bit smug and proud of myself for being able to do this awesome thing that the judgmental person can’t.
Plan Ahead, But Stay Flexible
You might be saying uh . . . aren’t those two things mutually exclusive? Well, not really. Having an itinerary with one or two main things you want to do in a day can give you a sense of security. It can also help combat loneliness because you’ve got places to go and things to see and no time to sit and ruminate on negative thoughts. To calm nerves, you can research those things in advance to get a sense of what it’ll be like, or how to get there. But, if you’re a big advance planner type (me!) resist the urge to plan out every minute of your day, because some of the best travel experiences come from unplanned moments.
Choose Social Accommodations
Where you stay can make a huge difference in combating loneliness. For example, many hostels have communal areas, organized activities, and tours that make it easy to connect with fellow adventurers. If, like me, hostels aren’t your style, instead of staying in a big chain hotel, look for small, locally-owned hotels or BnBs where the owners are likely to be very friendly and helpful. One of the best hotel experiences I’ve had was in Venice at this 9 room family-run hotel where they greeted me by name whenever I’d come and go (it’s the little things), and everyone who worked the front desk was an absolute gold mine of excellent local advice on all things Venice. It felt like I was a guest in someone’s house rather than a hotel and I almost forgot I was traveling alone.
Join Group Tours and Activities
While I genuinely like my alone time, there’s something to be said about sharing travel experiences with other people, and not being able to share them with anyone can sometimes feel isolating. A great way to combat that while traveling solo is by joining tours or activities. Whether it’s something that only lasts a few hours, like a free walking tour or a cooking class, or a multiple day group tour, group experiences naturally encourage interaction because you’ll have shared experiences to bond over.
Also, in my experience, you’re very likely to run into a few other solo travelers on group tours, and most of the group is usually pretty social because that’s kind of the point of doing a group tour. Personally, I love to start out trips with a free walking tour when that’s available because it helps you get a lay of the land, usually some great recommendations for activities and food, and sometimes you meet some really interesting people (or, if not, the guides are always happy to chat!) which makes that destination feel a bit more welcoming and less intimidating for a solo traveler.
Let Someone Else Do The Planning For You
The responsibility of planning, navigating, and problem-solving without a companion can feel overwhelming and isolating, so let someone else do the work for you! Joining a group tour or activity is a great way to take the pressure off. If that’s not in your budget, check out free itineraries for your destination on travel blogs (like this one; I have several free itineraries for a variety of locations) and follow the recommendations.
Find Your (Online) Tribe
There’s a huge community of solo travelers out there, and a wealth of advice and encouragement to be found. Join solo travel Facebook groups, spend some time on the solo travel sub on Reddit, or go down whatever social media rabbit hole you prefer – you’ll find online solo travel communities where you can share your experiences, get advice, and find support. Connecting with internet strangers who are on a similar journey can be incredibly reassuring and motivating.
Take Advantage of Technology
This advice addresses two issues – safety and loneliness. Safety first (this also falls into the category of “managing overanxious relatives or friends”). While solo travel safety is its own standalone topic deserving of its own post, some safety tools can also help combat solo travel nerves because, let’s face it, when you’re all along in a foreign country the only person looking out for you is you, and that can naturally be a huge source of anxiety if you think about it too much. So, share your location on your phone with people you trust back home, invest in AirTags or Tiles or other tracking devices and share the location of those with people you trust back home. Just knowing that someone who cares can pinpoint where you are is comforting.
Also, if you’re not usually a big social media poster, this is your time to shine. While this probably won’t resonate as much with younger Millennials or Gen Z (yeah I’m generalizing but…), in my everyday life I’m not a big social media poster and was kind of hesitant to post a lot while traveling because I didn’t think anyone really cared or would want to see it (or they’d think I was bragging or something . . . insecurities can be really illogical sometimes). I’ve gotten in the habit of posting a ton of pictures on FB and Instagram when I’m traveling and, much to my surprise, people are very interested. I’ve had friends from college and law school who I haven’t seen in years randomly message me out of the blue and say they love living vicariously through my travel posts, so please keep doing it. Even if it’s just someone liking a post, it feels like a connection to someone I know which can go a long way to help me combat solo travel loneliness on a solo trip. Anyway, YMMV with social media but that’s been my surprisingly pleasant experience.
How to Eat Alone
This is a big one.
I see this concern a lot in the solo travel groups I’m in: I don’t want to travel alone because I feel awkward eating out alone. Totally valid concern. Generally speaking, if we’re eating alone we’re usually at home or work, and if we’re eating out, we’re doing it with other people to be social.
But here’s a little secret: dining solo can be an incredibly liberating experience! To ease into it, look for a restaurant with communal tables, or a food hall. Often, you’ll find yourself striking up conversations with locals or fellow travelers.
Another great option is to sit at the bar. Bartenders are usually chatty and can introduce you to other patrons or give you the local take on the best things to do.
Another way to combat concern about feeling awkward sitting alone, bring a book or journal. Use this time to reflect on your trip, plan your next day, or stay connected with people back at home. Embrace the opportunity to savor your meal, take in your surroundings, and appreciate your own company without distractions.
Feeling adventurous? Join a food tour or cooking class. It’s a fantastic way to meet people while learning about and enjoying the local food scene. You’ll end up making friends over shared meals, which is always a great way to bond.
Remember, everyone around you is focused on their own experience, so don’t stress about dining alone. Own it, enjoy it, and you might be surprised at how much you come to love solo dining experiences.
Push Yourself to Try New Things
Solo travel is the perfect time to step out of your comfort zone. Be open to new experiences when they present themselves, whether it’s trying a new food, learning a new skill, doing some sort of adventure activity like skydiving or bungee jumping, or joining an impromptu adventure with fellow travelers. The more you push yourself to try new things, the more rewarding your solo travel experience will be.
Set Personal Goals
While this might not be for everyone, setting personal goals for your trip can provide a sense of purpose and direction. Whether it’s learning a new skill, exploring a particular culture, or achieving a fitness milestone, having clear objectives can make solo travel more engaging and rewarding. If this sounds like something that appeals to you, consider setting both short-term and long-term goals for your trip. Short-term goals might include things like:
- Trying a new local dish each day
- Practicing a few phrases in the local language each day
Long-term goals could be more ambitious and might include things like:
- Mastering a new skill like photography or cooking
- Completing a challenging hike or physical activity
Remember, the beauty of solo travel is that you get to decide what your experience will be like. So set those goals, embrace the journey, and celebrate each milestone you achieve along the way!
Practice Self-Care
Nervousness, anxiety, homesickness, insomnia, a general sense that everything is just a bit out of wack – all of that is completely natural to experience when you’re on a solo adventure, whether it’s your first solo trip or your 50th. But taking care of yourself can go a long way to combat those feelings. It’s important to practice self-care and ensure you’re taking care of both your physical and mental health. So what does that look like?
Eat well, stay hydrated, get enough sleep, and take breaks when needed. That last part is probably the most important part because there’s often an inclination to feel like you’re going to miss out on something or not get the most out of your trip if you’re not go-go-go-go the whole time. But down time is really important and giving yourself the flexibility to have downtime when you need it, even if not planned, will make your trip that much better in the long run.
Trust me because I’ve done it, it’s miserable to try to spend 10 hours on your feet exploring a city when you’re actually exhausted because you slept terribly the night before all you want to do is take a nap. Figure out what you can move around in your schedule, go take that nap, and you’ll enjoy the rest of the things on your itinerary so much more.
Keep a routine. While solo travel offers the freedom to explore on your own terms, maintaining a routine that someone resembles what you do at home can provide a comforting sense of stability. Whether it’s planning your day over a cup of coffee, winding down at night with a favorite book, bringing a little piece of your home routines into your trip is a great self care tool.
Travel with your creature comforts (if space permits). This is something it took me way too long to start doing. I used to say “oh, I’m just one of those people who never sleeps well in hotels” and I believed that was true. Well, it was, because I’m used to sleeping with a white noise machine to drown out city noise. When I would travel, I wouldn’t sleep well because I wouldn’t have any white noise in the background and it was either way too quiet, or little noises would wake me up all night. I had a “duh” moment and bought this little rechargeable travel white noise machine which has the same fan noises as my one from home, and my travel sleep improved by leaps and bounds. I also try to travel with my own pillow when I can, but sometimes there’s no space in my suitcase so I make do. So pack that pillow, or your favorite pajamas, or that nighttime tea you drink every night at home, or whatever it is to bring a little bit of home with you. It’s incredibly comforting and will help combat any solo travel loneliness.
Volunteer or Work Abroad
If you’re traveling for an extended period, consider volunteering or working abroad. There are numerous programs that offer opportunities to teach, work on farms, or help with conservation projects. Volunteering not only gives you a sense of purpose but also allows you to meet like-minded people and make a positive impact on the communities you visit.
Focus on Creative Pursuits
If you have an artistic flair, viewing solitude as a time for creativity can also help you embrace solo travel. Many artists, writers, and thinkers have found inspiration in solitude. Use this time to journal, sketch, or take photographs, channeling your experiences into creative outlets. As an added bonus, you’ll create lasting memories of your trip.
FAQ
I’m Scared to Travel Alone
Feeling anxious to travel alone is perfectly normal. It’s a big step, and the fear of the unknown can be daunting. Here are some tips to help you overcome that fear and build confidence:
- Start Small
If the idea of jetting off to a distant country feels overwhelming, start with a short trip closer to home. A weekend getaway to a nearby city can be a great way to ease into solo travel and gain confidence. - Do Your Research
Knowledge is power. Research your destination thoroughly before you go. Familiarize yourself with the local customs, transportation options, and areas to avoid. - Plan Your First Few Days
Having a plan for your initial days can help you feel more secure. Book your accommodation, arrange transportation from the airport, plan a few activities, and book dinner reservations. - Stay Connected
Let friends and family know your itinerary and check in with them regularly. Having a support system back home can provide a sense of security. - Trust Yourself
You are more capable than you think! Trust your instincts and abilities. Remember, you’ve already taken the courageous step to embark on this adventure.
Is Solo Travel Worth It?
Absolutely! Solo travel offers unique rewards that are hard to find when traveling with others. I could write a novel about why it’s worth it, but here’s the tl;dr version:
- Personal Growth
Traveling alone pushes you out of your comfort zone and challenges you in ways you might not expect. You learn to rely on yourself, make decisions, and solve problems independently. - Complete Freedom
Solo travel means you set your own agenda. You can wake up when you want, visit the places that interest you, and spend as much time as you like doing what you love. - Deeper Connections
When you travel alone, you’re more likely to engage with locals and other travelers. Without a companion, you’ll naturally seek out social interactions. - Self-Discovery
Solo travel gives you time to reflect and understand yourself better. It’s an opportunity to discover what truly makes you happy. - Unforgettable Memories
The adventures you embark on alone become some of your most cherished memories. The sense of accomplishment and the stories you gather along the way are uniquely yours.
Is It Sad to Travel Alone?
No, it’s not. Here’s where the fear of what others might think creeps in, worrying that other people that you know, or people you don’t know, will judge you for traveling alone. But – and I know I’m beating a dead horse at this point – anyone who is judging you is just projecting their OWN insecurities onto you, and their judgment is absolutely not a reflection of who you are. Solo travel is a chance to discover the world on your own terms, build confidence, meet incredible people, and create unforgettable memories. The benefits really do outweigh the drawbacks.
Final Thoughts
Traveling solo is an empowering and enriching experience that I firmly believe everyone should try at least once. And hey, maybe you get back home and say “that wasn’t for me.” But, even if you decide never to go on another solo trip, I guarantee you’ll come back with a newfound sense of confidence because you proved to yourself that you could do it. I truly hope this advice is helpful to anyone out there considering a solo journey. It can be challenging at times, but let me tell you, the rewards far outweigh the occasional bout of loneliness.